How do I overcome a quarter-life crisis

27 February 2019

The way I deal with my quarter-life crisis~
The way I deal with my quarter-life crisis~
Hi guys, can you guess what date is today? Yes, its 27th of February. It's my blessing day to be born and gifted to see the world Alhamdulillah. My post this time might be a little bit different from my other previous posts which are mostly focusing on travelling and anything related to it. However, based on what the title says that “How do I overcome a quarter-life crisis” which means How did I find my way in dealing with this life crisis phase. Also, I provide 7 vital ways to overcome it based on my experience for sure. Hehe 
Nevertheless, before going further, I would like to define what a quarter-life crisis is in the first place. Have you ever felt so lonely where no one can talk with you in your most needed situation and not even your family can understand your mood? A situation where everything seems dark and you are the only one who should cope with it. A condition where everything seems too confusing to step forward or to start a new chapter of your life. In my perspective, that is a quarter-life crisis. So, a quarter-life crisis is a transformation stage from nimfa to imago (I’m using scientific words haha) where everyone will pass it in their entire life. A phase that has extremely big pressure and you the only one who has to deal with it.

Furthermore, Wikipedia says that a quarter-life crisis is a crisis “involving anxiety over the direction and quality of one’s life” which is most commonly experienced in a period ranging from a person’s twenties up to their mid-thirties. In addition, Alex Fowke, psychology states it as “a period of insecurity, doubt and disappointment surrounding your career, relationships and financial situation”.

So, what is actually a quarter-life crisis? I am certainly sure that those who are aged 25 or between 20 to 30 years old must know this phase deeply. From Wikipedia and Alex viewpoints, I can draw a conclusion that a quarter-life crisis is one chapter of life where problems start appearing. A confusion in taking action towards life issues as we feel so much insecure, full of hesitation, and immature mentally to face the possible disappointments in relating to career, relationship status, or financial condition. Therefore, either ready or not, we are demanded to be independent in facing such difficulties.  

Back to the main topic about how I survived in this stage. To be honest, I did not grow up under my parent's control which sometimes makes me envy those who got a happy family. For that reason, my 25 or quarter-life crisis brought exceedingly high pressure in deciding everything that surely has consequences towards my future. In the same time, my family insisted me to be 100 per cent financially self-determining, where I felt under pressure from within and was incapable to find the right solution on how to vanquish it. Moreover, I gotta have to face the reality that I was unsuccessful in obtaining my dreaming scholarship that I had been fighting for all those years. And the worst, at the moment I was in need of support, everyone that I know suddenly magically disappears including my families even the person whom I loved and trusted most. In that little while, I did feel that I was in my deepest darkest line even committing suicide crossed my mind. I believe that you guys can imagine how deep the life loads I got haha. However, I feel so much grateful as today I officially pass this stage and welcome to 26 years old. In addition, I can confirm that I am a financially independent woman now, Alhamdulillah hehe. 

Consequently, there are 7 vital things that you guys can apply particularly those who will or in the middle of dealing with this phase. 

1) Let go of your negative vibration
Getting rid of myself from negativity~
Getting rid of myself from negativity~
Rescuing yourself out from anything that affects you negatively. In this case, do the thing that suits you to get rid of it. For instance, I cried like a river to let go of my detrimental vibes then started arranging everything over again. Don't mind anyways you choose to let it out of yourself if crying can make you feel better and back on track again, then do it because you are not being judged by choosing that way. The point is that as long as you can get yourself rescued then why not?

2) Finding out who you are
Finding out who I am~
Finding out who I am~
Finding out who you are, what do you want to be and why are you matter. Discovering ourselves and our whys can help us respecting ourselves more and being stronger for sure. Remember, We only have one life, it is our call to choose what's best for ourselves because, in the end, it is you who will be fully responsible on yourself, not your couple or spouse, not your friends, not your family, and not even your parents but YOURSELF. So, make sure to choose the right direction that suits you.

3) Doing things you love

Make yourself busy doing things that you love, things that can make you easily forget the issues that you are currently facing on. Finding hobbies or activities that you do love, can help you feel comfortable, feeling peaceful, undoubtedly influence you emphatically and even dare you to dream. So, what did I do? 😁 I arranged an itinerary to go backpacking in 6 ASEAN countries. Even though I was certainly unsure whether I would be able to afford it or not, but I honestly can feel excited whenever I plan a trip to somewhere owing to the fact that I can research my destination in detail and even start imagining myself flying there which somehow makes my face blushing happily 🥰😁. So, keep doing what you love because of the happiness that we obtain matters.
My example of Taipei itinerary back to 2017~
My example of Taipei itinerary back to 2017~
4) Setting targets or goals

Write down your targets or goals clearly. Write them down with a measurable time to achieve. For instance, you really wanna go backpacking, in this case, being a true backpacker where everything is put on your shoulder without anyone’s guide, you can start setting the exact date when you will go and where do you wanna go. Writing down your targets or dreams precisely either believe or not you will get more motivated in your life. It is simply because you have your targets to achieve, you have your reasons why you need to wake up every single morning to do things that will get you closer to your dreams. Trust me, the motivation you have will be much higher when you set targets than without setting ones. Therefore, you will feel more excited to start your day no matter how tough it is because those goals will dance on your head reminding you to stay on fire in achieving them🔥🔥🔥

5) Saving up

Save as much as possible because in this stage you’ll have to be financially independent. Whenever you face an issue in terms of money you will be facing it easily. Make your own self-budget so that all your expenses can  be more well-structured. 
My self-budget each month~
My self-budget each month~
This is just an example of self-budget that I apply every month. Because I live myself, so I can save more than spending haha but everybody has a different situation and definitely different needs. So, you can make one that suits you for sure. ^^

6) Travelling, travelling and travelling

Go travelling! Anywhere you can afford. Wandering does not always mean going abroad, you can do it in your country like visiting other cities or even exploring every corner of your city as long as it can bring you pleasure and peace. Trust me, going on a trip is the most powerful remedy I have ever got in dealing with the quarter-life crisis. Through expedition, I was  not only feeling peaceful but also was able to find the real me.

Me travelling in Singapore~
Me travelling in Singapore~
7) Stay close to God

Last but not least, you do need to get close to your God. Make sure that you have a strong and firm relationship with your God so that you don't fall whenever obstacles come by. No matter how many solutions you try to apply, no matter how often you share your problems with your mates or families and no matter how far you have been travelling to, if you are not close enough to God, you will never find the real peace in your life. For that reason, stay close to God ^^

Alright, so that's 7 vital ways that I did to conquer my quarter-life crisis. I hope that by sharing this experience can motivate you and encourage you to stay strong in tackling this phase. Always remember that you are SPECIAL, you are WORTHY, you are AMAZING and you are PERFECT in every way you are. ^^ So, See you on my other upcoming posts and oopss don't forget to read my preceding stories when I went travelling in 6 ASEAN countries hehe 😁😎.

16 comments

  1. I'm interested to vocabulary...hahahahhaa

    It's like I study IELTS :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahha, I hope you got the point not just learning the vocabs ...

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    2. Gue juga rasa bgitu sih..di usia 20an ini lagi pikir tentang finansial dan lainnya..yah Intiny bisa mandiri..Hal ini sudah saya rasakan sewaktu mulai kuliah dlu..hanya berbekalkan uang spp pertama dan dikenalkn sama keluarga di Makassar dan disruh mandiri sampai skrang..

      Dari 7 hal di atas, klw sya sisa traveling, travelingnya yang kurang..hehe





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    3. terimakasih sudah berkunjung. Iyya benar sekali, mandiri secara finansial memang sangat penting dan jika bisa sedini mungkin kenapa tidak hehehe...

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  2. Aku juga rasa itu haha apalagi ini masa2 kuliah semeater akhir. Jadi namanya quarter-life-crisis ya, berarti masih ada 3 bagian donk sampe terpenuhi total? Haha jadi 4/4 bukan 1/4 lagi.

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  3. First of all, happy belated birthday to you.

    I just want to say that how lucky I am, getting married in age of 21, so I never felt that "quarter-life crisis" bcoz I was too busy with my 2 years old daughter and also my carrier as a TV presenter in that time, hihi...

    ReplyDelete
  4. selamat ulang tahun, semoga panjang usia dan bisa makin sering jalan-jalan dan juga menabung :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Masya Allah.

    Sungguh pemikiran yang dewasa sekali.
    Semua ujian bisa menjadikan Ida berkembang, menemuka cara mengatasi masalah, dan kembali bangkit. In syaa Allah semangat terus, yaa.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Selamat milad ya. Usia 27 itu adalah usia yang matang dalam mengenal segala hal. Bisa juga dipersiapkan untuk kehidupan baru alias menikah.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. heheheh terimakasih,,,, insyaAllah 27 tahun di 2020 .... :D

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  7. Happy birthday! Enjoy your life and always enjoy the destinations you went. Life is not gonna turns back, so it's better live the fullest of you everyday :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ya saya juga merasakan seperti itu. Malah di usia 25 tahun itu saya sempat mengalami depresi pasca nikah. Penyebabnya bukan dari luar sih tapi dari dalam diri sendiri. But finally saya bisa keluar dari masa-masa yang mencekam itu. Dan benar banget nih untuk keluar dari masalah seberat apapun itu adalah harus semakin mendekatkan diri pada yang Kuasa.

    Kalau menjelang usia 27 ini saya malah degdegan hehe karena nggak nyangka juga umur saya udah mau segitu

    ReplyDelete

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